Party talk for Environmentalists – and those who love them

18 Dec

It’s that time of year again, when days are filled with dodging shoppers and nights filled with twinkling conversation spiked by eggnog.

So what’s a tree-hugging environmentalist to do when reminders about global climate degradation,and, the need to recycle – or better yet skip the wrapping paper are met with ‘Bah-Humbug’?

Simply try out these party conversation starters to not lose friends and maybe even influence people.

Disclaimer:  Please try these out at home and practice, practice, practice.  This blogger is not liable  for any un-friending or uninviting in cyberspace or real space.

Ready to begin?

First:  Dress appropriately.  Somehow, environmentalists are not known to be fashion savvy.  Watch your wardrobe – wear BLACK.  If you’re buying new, buy one, buy quality and it will last you all year.  Why black?

When your dapper duds are complimented, you can launch into your first pitch:

‘Well you know Black is the new Green.

Yup!  Having a cushion of resources, being in the black, lets me sustain my life – keeping my environment – and my wallet in the green!’

FiscalCliff625x175

Speaking of resources, you have another great opportunity when talk turns to us spiraling down the fiscal cliff.  Get ready to take center stage, preferably without your mouth full of pigs in a blanket:

‘Imagine an environmentalist and an economist hiking along and stumbling to the edge of a fiscal cliff.  Teetering on this edge, who would you count to get you off the cliff:  the environmentalist or the economist?

The environmentalist – of course!’

If you are met with stunned silence, keep on smiling!  And talking!

‘When it comes to finances I always ask:  What would Mother Nature do?  (WWMND).  After all, she’s kept herself in balance, sustainable, and alive all these years even when the bear takes over from the bull.

You KNOW there are going to be ups and downs so Mother Nature prepares – and saves.  I mean, she saves EVERYTHING, which you know if you’ve ever walked in a forest:  there are dead leaves, trees, animals everywhere.  It’s a MESS!  But hey, it works for her.

Me, I save resources too for when the bear comes out of hibernation.  And nest eggs?  Yup!  Never know when I’ll need to crack open a little potential filled with new life.’

This nest egg could nurture anything!

This nest egg could nurture anything!

If you’re feeling brave you can add: ‘And that’s no yoke!

If you or someone you love happens to be un-or under-employed, here’s a great response to any comments:

‘Oh, ya, I’m not working.  I’m laying fallow.  Letting the ‘ole experiences (you can tap your head here) decompose into skills and ideas – you know – mulch ’em a bit.  Thinking that I’ll be ready to plant seeds for a new rich experience soon, since my mind and soul are feeling so fertile and replenished after some down time.’

And don’t forget to add:

‘Besides, since I prepare for the bear times, like Mother Nature does – I’m always in the black.  Which means I’m in the green!  And how are you faring?’

You – and more likely everyone else –  is likely to be ready for another drink by now.  Of course you’ll have your reusable container, leaving you to share:

sustainable mug - party talk for environmentalists

‘I ALWAYS bring my container.  No need to waste.  Besides plastic?  Notice there is no plastic in nature.  If you DO see a bottle in the forest, no tree took a swig.  Trees make their own food – they don’t need ours!’

Nope - no tree drank this!

Nope – no tree drank this!

This is the perfect time to compliment your host and everyone who brought food.

And as you all merrily chow down, waistbands are likely to get tighter and tighter.  Here’s your chance to show off the brilliance of your elastic-waisted black pants.  Stretch out that elastic and pat your tummy:

‘Love having a place for my overindulgence to expand into without fear of destroying my button or zipper.  Why it’s just like Mother Nature’s wetlands – a place for overindulged rains to expand into after a supersized storm like Sandy.

I mean, building in a flood plain is like wearing skinny jeans to a party with yummy food like this!  Who would do that??’

The good news is you can use these party after party since you’ll need to make new friends daily.    If these don’t work, I’ve got some party tips for new reality shows!

And I wonder why I never get invited to parties…

Here’s wishing for a 2013 filled with environmental, economic, and emotional equilibrium!

earthtimes.org

earthtimes.org

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One Response to “Party talk for Environmentalists – and those who love them”

  1. Jerilyn Willin December 18, 2012 at 8:57 pm #

    Linda,

    I will definitely use some of these lines at my next A-list party. Love the idea of the elastic pants!

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