Growing my forest community with Maslow’s insights

APOLOGIES!! This is a repost since my first try was filled with gibberish (as Curtis kindly let me know). Hopefully this will post with the right wording – and pictures. I have to work on my relationship with technology – would this NOT have happened if I’d let ChatGPT write my post??? Anyway – here’s MY thoughts:)

It’s (a few days after) Yom Kippur, and I’ve been busy living (aka going from place to place) with little time for reflection. That’s REAL life isn’t it? We spend so much time doing and little time for planning. It hasn’t worked for me this year, and as I’ve been writing, I’m reflecting on what it means for me to go past the bend in the road. I’ve been writing a lot about this on: communicationessentials.wordpress.com

During the silent prayer last night – I’m finishing this a few days later – I was as always, thankful for the gifts and opportunities I’ve been given, asked for healing of relationships between those I loved, and, then added how much I needed to forgive myself for all the disappointment I’ve ’caused’. So many lives are filled with health, money, WAR challenges, and truthfullyI have none of that. This makes it so much harder to accept my ‘nothingness’. If I was sitting and talking to myself I’d say wherever you are, that’s the issue you deal with and it’s real for you. So yes, my issue is real – as is yours – whatever and however much it is.

Awareness is love: that’s what a friend shared as I sat here and she walked to services last night. We spent some time thinking about what that could mean. Like so many things, the best ‘thoughts’ are open for interpretation, becoming most relevant in their personal meaning. For me, I realize self-awareness leads to self-love which leads to openness to love around me.

Awareness is realizing me/we are always asking: What’s In It For Me.

Self-love is focusing on what I NEED, not what I want. Lucky for me, I think I have all that I want, but NOT what I need.

And you? How do you balance your wants with your Values/beliefs?

That self-awareness is based on which NEEDS are met and Abraham Maslow is the source for that. While his 5 needs for balance are usually described as a hierarchy, some (and I sometimes agree) are more fluid, again, more situation dependent. Except for what’s considered basic physical needs like air, water, food – those are all necessities always.

The ‘classic’ view of Maslow’s Needs in a hierarchy. I’ve ‘taught’ and learned this pyramid in so many classes and yet, it’s only recently I’ve realized the power of focusing on these five needs.

It’s not just the words – it’s what they really mean to each of us. How many times have I reached for a bag of chips when I wasn’t emotionally safe? Or went shopping when I felt like my contributions weren’t listened to and I felt invisible?

Delving (a bit) into Maslow and needs, it’s been acknowledged that his ideas were solidified after spending time with the Blackfoot Indians. It seems he’d hit a ‘wall’ and needed inspiration – and learning. The Blackfoot are much more focused on the ‘we’ rather than the ‘I’ of Western culture. They also acknowledge that our identity is a seed we are born with, uncovered through life experience and needs to be nurtured and celebrated. I especially like this since it’s been the focus of the project I’ve been working on. But enough of that. NEEDS – and yes, mine aren’t met. What about yours?

Maslow’s needs are motivation, answering: WIIFM or What’s In It For Me. Turns out, Mother Nature, aka a (successful) forest community gets these needs met. Imagine what we can learn from Mother Nature if we only listened?

WIIFM’s: What’s In It For Me aka Maslow’s needs

I started looking at Maslow’s needs through Mother Nature’s lens when I began ‘Learning From Mother Nature’ and after I learned he had studied with the Blackfoot. What’s especially cool is realizing a forest community/nature really is about win-win relationships, with affiliation being about each organism sharing its qualities for the whole community to succeed. This is the type of community I want to live in.

For the last few years I’ve been searching for ‘my forest’ where I feel emotionally safe to blah blah, affiliated with others where I learn, grow and am able to share my gifts – and recognized for my good and bad qualities and accepted for them. It’s my own private ‘Atlantis’ but instead of searching for riches or eternal life, searching for eternal ‘fit’ and balance. This year, going past the bend, the road of new wonders will open to my forest that I’ll plant and gather. Join my forest and contribute to a community teaming with possibilities of life. I don’t quite know, or even need to know, what this looks like yet. I just know to focus on my needs and sharing!

Our forest is where our gifts, talents, and quirks are celebrated and appreciated. Share who you are and focus on meeting NEEDS!

GROW your forest the (Mother) Nature way: SHARE your qualities and help others share theirs. Don’t be SCARED of competition and ‘losing’.

Ask questions and be curious. Really LISTEN to others which means responding to what they say, NOT just talking about yourself. That’s sharing.

Shop and Spend your beliefs #beatplasticpollution

It’s time for the United Nations Climate talks AGAIN. There will be a huge march in NYC on September 17th to the UN – declaring it’s time to stop fossil fuel drilling. We have to talk differently – not louder!

Specifically, time for each of us to change our actions – after all – each of us can make small changes for BIG results! So start by asking yourself….

Simply ask yourself… then take action – we got this!! Share your actions here or with your friends.

Environmental Oopsies – a Human Nature misstep (or two…)

Notice how early travelers and immigrants brought what they thought they needed and wanted to new worlds.

And wanted what everyone else had too even before shipping crates sailed the ocean blue to an Amazon warehouse near you.

For months – no really years – I’ve been taking screen shots of headlines from my newsapp. Amazing how all these things that seem so wonderful are messing up the world – and more specifically – our lives. So I thought I’d just share them with – a little environmental summer holiday gift! Enjoy???????

Shopping for the summer holiday?

That cute top was likely shipped on the ocean blue and it’s more likely it will end up as micro-plastic back there.

The glory of war – a reminder this needs to stop.

Water too often seems like it’s free.

Oh, DUH – more plastic????

And FYI, plastic is from fossil fuels too.

Is there any place that ISN’T clogged with plastic!

Hmm, why doesn’t anyone just realize using LESS plastic is the only way to save us all.

Does everything need to be packaged as much as it is?

All that paper and packaging comes from trees – often clear cut from a mountain side that may be washed down the hill with all these crazy storms we’re getting.

It’s everywhere it seems – and the piles of crap that litter shorelines and end up in dumps are just ending up back in our drinking water and soil. OUCH.

Each of us can decide what headline makes the news. What about each of us using less, shopping less, wanting less stuff and more nature experiences: Mother Nature AND Human Nature interactions!

Pride and Prejudice: Human Nature with a symbiotic twist

WIIFM (What’s In It For Me) is the motivation radio station for deciding: “am I going to dance to this action or not?” WIIFM is asked when (for environmental action) getting out of bed in the morning, when starting – or finishing a task (even for work!), and, deciding the type of (symbiotic) relationship to create with yourself, and others.

The answer to What’s In It For Me is always about whether needs (or wants) or met for actions and relationships. What exactly IS a relationship?

Mother Nature’s Symbiosis tied to Identity

Mother Nature defines relationships through symbiosis: a win, lose or some combination for each of the individuals involved.

Mother Nature seems to make the intent of each relationship simple: based on the identity of the organism (and based on the environment) depends on whether an organism will ‘win’ or ‘lose’ in the interaction. It’s also about the community winning (or losing).

Sure there is parasitism (a Win for one, Lose for the other) in Mother Nature. Actions are based on meeting basic needs (like food!). Overall, the intent is Win-Win for the community. For one individual to succeed ALL must succeed – even when someone gets eaten for food ( a definite! lose for them.)

Human Nature Symbiosis is a Choice based on Emotions

In our EMOTIONAL Human Nature world, symbiosis is NOT based on our identity. Interactions and relationships with others is a CHOICE resulting in WIN-WIN: Mutualism, or, WIN-LOSE: Parasitism or more commonly competition. Emotion sways the choice: individual identity is either protected (win-lose) or promoted (win-win) . (This does NOT include war and Hate Crimes and other acts of violence – for now we can keep it simpler.).

WIIFM answers needs – competing for emotional protection means the competitor is protecting their identity by making the other lose. Sometimes I think competition (not for food/safety) is as much about NOT losing (identity). Protection is the ‘win’. What do you think???

Choice based on emotion means symbiosis can be examined, understood and even changed using the Scientific Method.

We CAN create win-wins – if it meets our needs. The key is understanding WHY we turn to competition/parasitism. Go ahead – state your thoughts aka hypothesis.

It’ starts with ‘hello’ or a look/glance:

Too often we see someone and make a quick hypothesis of who they are and what they think (about us). BOOM – we act based on this assumption.

Personally, I’ve been ignored based on my appearance and being a ‘visitor’ -no answers even to my questions (about them) have left me feeling lonely (in settings I thought I’d be welcomed!).

It’s more than appearance – even having different experiences (or thoughts – think politics in this current time) can create assumptions – and a win-LOSE interaction – by NOT interacting.

This is how all great romance movies and novels start!

Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice, Rom-Coms and Hallmark movies are great at showing this: that negative first impression laced with fear and protecting identity. The meanness shield comes up and the win-lose competition brews. And THEN, the protective competitor going for the the other to LOSE, learns more about this person they ‘fear’. This learning creates the fertile soil for growing a win-win relationship. This win-win becomes their love story, and it could be for each of us also!

Keep in mind Lizzie Bennet and Mr. Darcy… This is how it started – NOT how it ended

Emotions and actions/words are assumptions.

Observe and listen to your emotions: what comes to mind in interactions? WHY is this what comes to mind?

Fear of losing identity? That OMG – is the other person better? Or maybe you imagine what you think they are thinking about you? You THINK they might think you’re not so great. Not so great because one of you is different, an outsider (the basis of xenophobia!).

It’s normal! IF you think these thoughts – IF you fear not being seen/heard/understood and/or appreciated – the MEANNESS/Protection shield comes up and a Win-Lose relationship is created.

Remember though, this is all YOUR hypothesis – now it’s time to experiment! Just because you assume doesn’t mean you have to compete – you can learn about the other person!

This could have been how Pride and Prejudice ended – but then it would NOT have been the masterpiece it is!

Putting up a shield of protection to claim a ‘WIN’ takes many forms. Here are some conversations I’ve had (and accepted the ‘lose)’.

Emotional win-lose creates imbalances in relationships : emotional safety ( expressing feelings), and affiliation/recognition (acknowledgment of a fuller identity) decreases or is lost.

Win-Lose interactions are lonely. It may seem like a Win for the ‘expert’ but it’s a Lose for the other and a LOSE for a potential relationship.

Listen: Sounds and Words. Imagine intent:

Creating win-lose interactions takes many forms. It seems strange someone would want to WIN by feeling worse…

Claiming this ‘WIN’ might be to form a connection of shared pain. NOT listening to someone FIRST who’s expressing their pain turns this into a competition and a LOSE.

There is always more to each of us just like Mr. Darcy wasn’t who Lizzie thought he was.

Turn Prejudice to Pride and choose to learn about others: create win-win relationships. Choose love stories!

Sharing is important. Choose NOT to compete. Choose to be kind – to yourself first and then to others – create mutualistic relationships.

First – Listen and ask questions.

LISTENING creates a mutual win- win. Listening (and asking questions) is the key for win-wins since it builds safety within the relationship.

Win-Wins are give and take

Listening is important for ALL in a relationship. Beware if one person does all the talking – without inquiring about the other.

Unfortunately, I have friends who talk but don’t seem curious about me. (It’s obviously ME and my identity is secure: I don’t think of myself as boring!) The relationship becomes commensalism (see above) and lonely: They ‘WIN’ in being heard, I ‘LOSE’ in acknowledgment. Maintaining the relationship meets other needs.

Curiosity through Communication was how Lizzie learned more about Mr. Darcy. Understanding leads to Win-Win Connections

Curiosity is a relationship strength, forming connections and win-wins. Not sure how to ask questions (curiosity)? Use variables from the Scientific Method. Ask questions with WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY, HOW.

Start writing your own love story: Overcome your Prejudice and assumptions. Pride is openness to listening and learning about others.

Curiosity uncovers new facts, making new hypothesis/theories.

Curiosity is the key to connection – building Win-Wins.

These questions are a guide for using variables. When in doubt, simply say: Tell me More!

I love when someone actually tells me to keep talking – to finish my ‘stuff’ before I ask about them!

Creating Mutual Win-Wins is a skill. Choose to learn. Listening is NOT a ‘LOSE’ of your Identity.

Mutual curiosity leads to win-wins. NO need for competition or fear of assumptions.

Choose to listen, be curious and support others!

Begin writing your own romance story today. Take your Prejudice/fear of losing your identity and ask questions, listen. Being open is the greatest source of Pride to overcome Prejudice!

Creating win-win relationships starts with your most important one!

Well it can be – or it should be. I’ve written about Identity – uncovering that naked/truest self to be ‘FIT’ and balanced. But what are those relationships and what is symbiosis (unless of of course you watched Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and the symbiont).

Individual identity is enhanced and grown through relationships and the environment/community you are in.

Of course (?) Identity is uncovered where needs are met – and covered tight where relationships create a fear-inducing environment.

Like most of us, I’ve always thought of relationship categories: family, friends, lovers, colleagues, acquaintances, etc. When I started working on Learning From Mother Nature , I broadened my thoughts of human interactions to Four Key Relationships:

Four key relations that enhance or detract my ‘FIT’ and meet or don’t meet my needs:

Self

Others

Environment

Economy

Throwing the idea of ‘FIT’ and (Maslow’s) needs into the mix it gets complicated and fun. It’s simpler to understand Human Nature through Mother Nature (I’m biased obviously) so, I turned to her definition of relationships: Symbiosis.

Symbiosis is defined as a close, prolonged association between two or more different biological species. This relationship can be symbiotic (mutualistic), where both parties involved benefit from the interaction, or it can be parasitic, where one party benefits while the other is harmed.Jul 14, 2022 PBS.org

Mutualistic and parasitic are the main Symbiosis; here’s a look at the three main ones:

It’s as if Mother Nature defines relationship based on the result or outcome (win – lose – or some combination) of the interaction – whether it’s intended or not!

Interestingly, it’s probably parasitism that’s most known.

Learning from Mother Nature acknowledges all relationships. Take it slowly: Fear, needs/WIIFM’s impact guide our actions – do we want to create a win? Or a lose for the other so WE don’t lose? Whoa! read that last sentence again: creating a lose for the other so we don’t lose (our identity!). Yikes, right?

Back to Identity BECAUSE our most IMPORTANT relationship is: ‘self’ relationship. Now, there’s so much talk about ‘self-care’ which often ties to good food, sleep, and a spa day. All those are important. AND: Mother Nature would define self-care as behavior that enhances your ‘win’. Win is ‘FIT’ for being and expressing your truest identity.

Show off your creativity: if you haven’t filled in this drawing – do it NOW!!!!

First and foremost – your ‘self’ relationship will guide every other relationship. Really examine:

What’s in your Identity ‘bag’? WHY do have the relationship you have with yourself?

Here’s a loose way to look at it: if I say I want to lose weight and then I eat a large bag of chips every night, my behavior is creating a ‘lose’. A small bag of chips a day or two a week, that is easily commensalism – more of a neutral. (The bigger question is WHY I’m creating a ‘lose’ but we have to wait for that one – though it’s related of course to needs and fears.)

‘Self’ relationship is as complicated as others. Here’s a view of the power of words creating a ‘win’ – and ‘lose’ relationship – with self.

Mutualism, creating win-win relationships in your life, starts with kindness to yourself.

Feeling bad? Acknowledge it, even if it’s to yourself. Express your feelings and fears – you’re allowed to have them and be hugged for having them.

Go back and define your identity like in the chart above.

Look in the mirror and tell yourself everything you do well and why you deserve to express your identity fully – from your DNA roots, to

Describe: How your appearance promotes (does it? If not what does it say about you?) your identity and how you feel about yourself (if you have on something that makes you feel bad – take it off and give it away), and

Explain: Your niche/qualities and characteristics that make you feel happy because you know these qualities are important and you’re good at them whether others recognize them or not.

Start YOUR journey today if you haven’t already.

Uncover your identity find your best ‘FIT’ to create the ‘WIN’ self relationship you deserve.

Let me know how it’s going or if you have questions.

Survival of the Fittest: Which jeans make the cut?

Darwin’s theory, Survival of the Fittest, is the perfect ‘excuse’ for competition and doing what it takes to win. Darwin would have likely had a slightly different definition focused on ‘Fittest’. The better an organism’s qualities and talents ‘FIT’ a competitive situation, the more likely that organism will survive and thrive.

Not every individual is a good fit for every situation. Competing to win is a waste of energy and talents when the fit isn’t there. It’s a lot like finding a great fitting pair of jeans.

Embrace the challenge of finding what FITS.

Explore and experience many fitting rooms to uncover your assets for their best fit.

A good pair of jeans promotes your genes – allows you to be most comfortable to share and grow your talents!

It’s more than just thinking about which jeans fit and fit best. It’s understanding that each of us is like a puzzle piece and completes a bigger picture. Just like any puzzle, not all pieces fit in the same pic to complete all pictures. Think about when you say: ‘WOW’ I just fit ‘here’ perfectly – or you say that another person fits you perfectly!

Sure, we can make jeans ‘FIT’ by stuffing ourselves into them, or, wearing shape-wear (the horrible things we do to ourselves to ‘fit’). Or, just keep looking and find a pair that is comfy and we can move around in.

Forcing FIT, and competing in situations which don’t match our talents and skills is a recipe for conflict and imbalance.

If I feel like I have to compete to get noticed in a puzzle I know I don’t fit it, I get mean – and that meanness is usually at myself: I overeat, watch too many movies, or shop for things I’ll regret buying.

Mostly I overeat…. which makes my jeans not ‘FIT’, the perfect metaphor for not fitting… why do we humans do this????

Meanwhile, here in Western culture, we’re constantly told we should be like someone else, like a brother, cousin, celebrity. No wonder we need to shop for so many pairs of jeans, constantly looking for that ‘FIT’ that is us. Yet, in the fitting room are pairs of jeans to try on suggested by influencers, celebrities, and the same people who tell us we should be someone different…

In contrast, the Blackfoot Indians believe we are born ‘whole’ and already ‘FIT’, then spend their lives perfecting that FITTEST. Certainly something we can learn from.

In Blackfoot culture, “it’s like you’re credentialed at the start. You’re treated with dignity for that reason, but you spend your life living up to that.” While Maslow saw self-actualization as something to earn, the Blackfoot see it as innate.Jun 18, 2021

The Blackfoot Wisdom that Inspired Maslow’s Hierarchy
Resilience.orghttps://www.resilience.org › Teju Ravilochan

Sure, we can fit anywhere…

Like any situation, job, etc. we can find jeans that FIT, or adapt to them. Which is more comfortable?

Same as for any job, relationship, friendship, home, etc. etc. etc.

It’s too easy to settle for what doesn’t fit. If you’re in this situation be honest about why you are ‘there’ and then think about how you can fit better – or find a new puzzle picture to complete.

Your ‘FIT’ is about your best, not being better than others who wear totally different pairs of jeans – look better in them.

BUT, remember there’s a pair of jeans you wear perfectly. That’s your fittest.

Explore lots of fitting rooms and find how your genes can promote your jeans – or it how your jeans can promote your genes???

So go ahead, grab a handful of experiences in life’s fitting room and figure out what ‘FITs’. Toss out what doesn’t fit! It’s the only way to thrive and you deserve that!

Environmental Psychology

It’s the Shopping season – aka ‘the holidays’. This year, ‘they’ say, people will spend more on holiday gifts. After all, last year’s holidays sucked, or should I say last year sucked. In fact, one source of entertainment was on-line shopping. (I was lucky to be able to go to Goodwill, and yes, it was a source of entertainment.) Of course ‘they say’ so much of what was bought was regretted because it wasn’t needed, really wanted, and honestly, likely crap. (Yup, even more Goodwill finds!). Now – this year – we’ll have even more crap as people shop – Yay!

Or, not so great, post COP26….

Shopping is a great salve for a battered soul. A new purchase adds a lift; a temporary lift. Like eating a bag of chips or a (large) chocolate bar. I should know – I’ve done the shopping, chips, and always the (large) chocolate!

BUT… Isn’t there always a BUT???? …. on the heels of COP 26, the BIG climate summit just ended in Glasgow, it was made VERY obvious the planet (Mother Nature) is in serious trouble. Mother Nature is in the ICU, about to put on life support.

If she’s in trouble, so are we. Mother Nature is the reason we are here: breathing, eating, writing blog posts, and, shopping.

Our relationship to Mother Nature, the Economy, and, even/especially to ourselves is in trouble. Therapy trouble. Which is why I think there needs to be a new profession: Environmental Psychology. Psychology to ask WHY we do what we do to the environment; to ourselves.

Because, why would we, humans, take so many actions we know will kill us, or, at best, make our lives miserable? Why do things that cause floods, draught, and fires?,

What would you do to fix a toxic relationship?

Shopping, buying more stuff, is insulting to our relationship with Mother Nature. Sure, spending money adds love to the economy. Most of us in the developed world have lots of goodies (even if we want more…). These goodies are, as usual, killing poor and indigenous people first. No worries, developed nations are next.

In the USA, did you ‘celebrate’ Indigenous People’s Day instead of Columbus Day? Lament the plight of wanna be immigrants at the southern border? Believe Black Lives Matter? Our use of cash and credit impacts their rights and health. Another example of put your money where your mouth is!

Psychology: Do you love money and stuff more than health? If so, why? Explore….

Without the environment there is no economy – first off, we’re dead – but, also, everything we do/eat/shop is from Mother Nature. Absolutely everything.

Every tree is a money tree. Every tree is a ‘Giving Tree’. But only if the tree is alive. Actually the whole forest needs to be alive to support that tree: important basic biology!

Psychology: Love money? Then protect what you love – protect Mother Nature.

Psychology: We know and we don’t do it…

Like I know eating a bag of chips will tighten my jeans and make me sick – but I do it anyway…

COP26 world leaders ‘blah-blah-ed’ as Greta said and really did nothing – why not? Obviously no WIIFM was met – I guess they love money and power more than they love their kids!

Forget world leaders: dig into your own psyche and be your own psychologist. Ask: What’s In It For Me? Health or stuff? Family or pollution from stuff. Money is power – and emotion/psychology.

This holiday season: Ask first, then take ACTION!

Each of us matter – our actions matter. Choose life and health. Buy less. Buy quality.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Columbus, Fear/xenophobia, and COVID

Xenophobia is about fear or hatred of others or anything that is strange or different. Fear we all got – let’s face it. As Columbus Day sails into the past let’s pause and consider: instead of cancelling the man and the ‘holiday’, think about Columbus’ leaving Spain during the Spanish Inquisition. The only thing we should cancel is fear; fear of those who are different.

Here in the USA, we learn in 1492 Columbus commandeered the Nina, Pinta, and the Santa Maria across the Atlantic, seeking new trade to conquer the economic world. What we don’t learn – and understand – is those same docks were filled with Jews being expelled from Spain.

Fear is natural; easily pollinated and too easily grown. Unfortunately…

Imagine fear circulating docks, whipping up dirt streets into sailors’ racist/xenophobic mindset. I’m thinking Columbus and his crew’s emotional baggage was far heavier than the chests stored below deck. Fear likely left no room for understanding: if they were ignorant and fearful of Jews – indigenous peoples would have been scarier.

Last year we rallied around Black Lives Matter, and on Columbus Day we (now) proudly announce it’s Indigenous Peoples Day – but what does that mean, really? How have we learned to include and respect others’ differences in the past year? Past 500 years?

COVID is a good metaphor for Xenophobia: funky words, hard to remember AND even harder to acknowledge. Yet, they both kill spirit and soul and are transmitted in similar ways.

No need for a microscope to see xenophobia. Unfortunately, there’s no vaccine either. Even though xenophobia spreads as easily as a virus AND can be stopped by our actions.

It doesn’t take much to ‘see’ someone different, uncovering fear leading to racist/bullying .

In 1492 Spain, xenophobic racism led to the expulsion of Jews. Today anti-Semitism is alive and well and just one type of racism infecting humans. Racism against Blacks and people of color ‘expels’ educational, economic, and fair voting opportunities. Health and life quality are impacted by poor quality housing, garbage dumping and/or trucks with high CO2 emission driving through poor neighborhoods.

We know better. How do we not ACT better?

Would you have sat down and talked with the Indigenous people you encountered in this new world? (if you came from this country dripping in xenophobia and fear of other/Jews?) Would you have wanted to? WOULD YOU HAVE HAD THE COURAGE? I know I want to believe I would want to, be able to, and, have the courage to do so.

Rather than cancel Columbus, let’s rename and turn It to Columbus’ Curiosity, Communication, Connection Day. Here are 5 actions to act courageously this year:

1. Focus on Backstory: 500 years later, instead of canceling Columbus it’s time to understand his backstory. We’re still wrestling with the same fear of others that’s been around since the beginning of the human species. Acknowledging Columbus’ story can help us understand our own fears – perhaps, finally, working towards exploring – NOT conquering – new worlds and relationships.
2. Acknowledge your story: Hindsight is 20/20 and easy when viewed by the safety of time and internet. But there’s always the nagging question: What would I do? How can we possibly know: it’s not 1492; and, we’re not sailing across the ocean blue in a rickety ship with no shower, toilet, or internet.
3. See with your ears and not your eyes. It’s so easy to assess someone by appearance. We spend time and energy on our looks. Isn’t it why social media posting is popular and ‘important’, AND, why young people, especially girls, are so damaged by it? Identify is more than an assumption of eyes. Look, but it’s far more important to listen.
4. Use your ears. Add in curiosity and communication. Don’t focus on what you think you know about someone. Instead focus on what you don’t know about someone and what you would like to know.
5. Communicate using the scientific method as a template turns curiosity into communication. As any Nobel Winning Scientist knows, it’s important to keep experimenting and asking new questions to uncover more information. Injecting curiosity, asking questions, disproving assumptions, and listening is the ‘cure’ for xenophobia.

2. Fear of others is also fear of others ideas, experiences and even dress (and why following trends is so important, right?) And easy for groups of people to decide together who they like or don’t like, include or shun.

True, nobody likes everybody, and not everybody likes the same people. This isn’t about liking or not liking. It’s about accepting people one doesn’t like – accepting what you don’t quite understand or even feel comfortable with.

3. USE YOUR EARS, not your eyes.

4. Curiosity can be overrun by fear – refocus on uncovering self-identity – and – identity of others.

This is hard I think … Summoning up curiosity after assuming people’s identity based on (my) experiential history, social media, or friend’s history. Instead: Ask questions. Listen to answers. Listening is hard/ talking/posting our own ideas – super easy. Little actions/Big change.

5. Communication and connection is about asking questions to understand – not focusing on fear.

Fear is absolutely imbedded in Mother Nature as a means for survival. Our Human Nature allows us to replace our imbedded fear with emotional intelligence. Communication can replace fear with understanding, IF we learn to ask questions using the Scientific Method.

Prevention isn’t easy, it just takes a little self-knowledge and courage.

Columbus taught us what (and how) we did wrong as a species. Now it’s time to decide IF we can learn from his ‘mistake’. Let’s choose to talk WITH each other; not just at, or about, others. Let’s choose to be open and connect with those who are the same and especially those who are different. Let’s decide to learn, honor, listen.

Where do you want to go: Amazon 2021

It’s the 20th anniversary of 9/11, a day that changed life and our view of safety in the USA and in some ways around the world. The anger and fear of terrorists killed people, buildings, and, it turns out their own part of the world thanks to a 20 year war that has done little other than destroy a society. Not purposely of course. War is like that. Anger and fear are like that.

Twenty years has seen a LOT of changes in our world – and I’m not even talking about the pandemic. Most of all perhaps…

In 2000, Amazon was the precious bio-diverse rainforest, valued for the life it breathed into our planet.

Though even then… trees were cut for hamburgers and roads.

In 2021, Amazon supplies all our needs thanks to our visa (credit card).

The stuff Amazon brings to our door is destroying the Amazon rainforest, and in fact our entire environment.

What’s more important? Breathing or a pair of jeans you’ll wear a few times and I’ll refuse to buy at Goodwill because of the crappy quality. It’s time we think through what life means to each and every one of us.

Have kids? Love them? Love yourself? Take action NOW!

Stop shopping on-line for the rest of September. Try it. The planet needs it – we ALL need it.

Decomposers (and Greta T) hate Fast Fashion – Maybe we all should?

One more day of despairing climate news and one more action idea to hopefully(??) slow the direst effects of ‘Mad as Hell’ Mother Nature (aka climate change). As the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, a UN based panel of scientists, meet to share the findings we’re feeling and experiencing daily, Greta Thunberg shares another wise suggestion: stop buying fast fashion.

Fast Fashion, like Fast Food, is quick, cheap, quickly consumed, and, oh so appetizing. Hungry to fill a retail shopping need the Amazon drive-through is ready for filling up on calorie-free (for us) junk clothes. Cheap – so cheap – stuff, no ‘nutrition’ to sustain one for long, and each piece uses tons of natural resources like water. Instagramable ‘wear once’ cheap clothes are killing us by killing the environment. No wonder Mother Nature’s mad as HELL – the heat dome covering so much of the world is proof.

Back to Fast Fashion’s deadly consumption. Substitute and/or add fast food to make this even more “fun” – notice the quotes. The actual quotes below are taken from actual news articles about fast fashion.

More plastic in clothes than in bottles…

Greta reminds us of the danger of this fast fashion and its destruction on the planet. Granted, she’s not a shopaholic like many of us are (me included thought I”m addicted only to Goodwill at this stage.

If this isn’t mind blowing, what is?

Chemically Fast Food isn’t totally ‘real’, right? Is Fast Fashion? There’s too much fake stuff in both. Have you ever read the ingredients on snack food? Probably if you’re reading this blog. But most people are looking for flavor or cheap.

Conor Hartman of Circ (above quote) highlights Fast Fashion is made from the same oil that makes plastic bottles and fuels cars. Polyester, nylon, acrylic that are cheap to make as advertised on Amazon. BUT, since polyester, nylon, acrylic, made from fossil fuels/oil, are not naturally occurring materials, they cannot be broken down/decomposed. Since they can’t be decomposed, (and look like crap after they’ve been worn a few times), they end up in a landfill. They’ll be here years after your grandchildren have grandchildren. That’s a long time and a lot of landfill.

So what’s the importance of decomposing ‘stuff’. Mother Nature shows us:

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The mess Mother Nature leaves behind at the end of summer/fall is cleaned up by decomposers – the tiny little creepy crawly bugs in the soil and under the piles of leaves on the ground that magically disappear. Decomposers break down naturally occuring dead stuff into building blocks like Legos to be remade into new plants, trees, etc. Polyester and fake fast fashion cannot be broken down….

Anything not decomposable removes those raw materials needed to make new things. It’s like having a hand knit sweater that’s no longer worn: if the yarn is unwoven it can be made into a sweater that’s newly loved vs. a sweater that sits in a garage. Or when (I) spend my money on crap I don’t need that stuff can’t be decomposed into a vacation. Not to mention, anything not broken down piles up. Imagine mountains of fast fashion the size of the Himalayans in years to come.

So here’s the ‘thing’. We’ve been hearing the same thing about our overconsumption that’s killing the planet (and ultimately ourselves) for years. And yet:

What Human Nature needs aren’t being met as we destroy Mother Nature?

So what is in it for each of us to act on things we’ve learned? What will it take for lasting change? I have no idea, do you? I do know it’s based on our emotional needs more than our physical needs.

Hey, on some level we know we need oxygen to live and breathe from the trees more than they need carbon dioxide from us (they’ve got other animals to supply their carbon dioxide after all…. On the most basic level it seems our need for oxygen is enough for us want to save trees and nature. Yet it’s obviously not. It’s weird and self-destructive, right?

But then again, too many people aren’t getting vaccinated and/or not wearing masks to protect the spread of Delta virus (and all future virus permutations). So if people won’t take this simple step to protect themselves and their children from the virus, I can finally/kind-of see why, of course, most aren’t taking major steps to change consumption.

Regardless of what others do – or in this case DON’T do, I think we each need to follow our own moral compass to speak and do what’s right (for us). Fortunately there are some of us – like Greta and other young (and old) environmental spokespeople. Like I always say, ACTION is the way we should all become influencers.

The bottom line is? We all probably know we’re destroying ourselves by destroying the planet. Most of us aren’t happy with the weather. But each of us can take little steps – wearing masks indoors-reducing our plastic use and polyester-clothes addiction. Little steps.

What will you do to ensure you can enjoy walking outdoors and eating and drinking good food?

So let’s listen to Greta and take action. Skip the Fast Fashion, Skip the Fast Food. Share and swap the clothes we’re not wearing. Share and swap the stuff we’re not using – use Buy Nothing or Craigslist to get new for you stuff from others. Eat good food. Save ourselves the misery of a burning planet. Aren’t we worth it? And of course, wear a mask and get vaccinated please! The only thing that should go viral is this blog post – so please spread this idea through conversation and words! Thanks.